Leaving my job to become a SAHM

I was putting some dates into my calendar today when I counted out the time that I have left at my job...just seven and a half weeks left!  I've been a nanny for one family for almost nine years, and honestly leaving will be very bittersweet.  There have been many times over the past nine years where I have been ready to leave, but I've ultimately stayed on with them because it's been a really good job for me.  They pay me extremely well, have given me perks such as paid vacation time and a car, and the hours are fantastic.  In many ways, though, I am very, very ready to be done.  The kids are boy/girl twins, and they are teenagers now, which makes for some difficult days that I never imagined I would still be here for when I first accepted this job back in January of 2004.  The reality of things is that I've helped to raise those kids...I helped teach them how to read and how to ride their bikes without training wheels.  I was there when they first jumped off the diving board at the pool and learned how to pump their legs on the swings at the playground.  My job has changed in countless ways over the years as the kids depended on me less and less.  Now I'm mostly a cook, housekeeper, chauffeur, and tutor.  I don't mind those things either, but I miss the days when the kids were little and my job was more about entertaining and taking care of them than picking up their dirty clothes.  The kids' parents have always maintained a moderately professional relationship with me, and I've always had certain expectations in my role as their child care provider that I strove to meet and exceed.  Every year I've gotten an annual performance review and my salary has been adjusted according to their perception of how well I met their expectations.  I've always felt the need to explain to people why I don't have a "real" job, even though I graduated with honors from a large university, but in so many ways being a nanny has been a "real" job to me.  It's also a job that will be really hard to leave in some ways.  I've been a part of the kids lives for nine years, and now all of a sudden I won't see them every day.  I won't hear any funny stories about what their bible teacher did that day, or about drama with their friends.  I'm not going to be there when they have their first boyfriend and girlfriend, or their first kiss.  I'm going to miss their sweet, lovable dog most of all!!  I know that there are better things to come though, too.  I'll get to be at home with our daughter, and any future children we have, which is what I've always wanted.  I'm going to have freedom to run errands during the day and go on play dates with my friends who have kids, which are things I've never been able to do as a nanny.  I'm hoping that I won't feel as resentful about doing a lot of the housework because I won't have to do it at two different houses anymore!  I'm excited to be able to teach our kids how to read, and ride a bike without training wheels, and jump off the diving board.  I've also learned quite a bit about the things that I'd like Dave and I to do and not do with our kids in terms of discipline, chores, etc., from seeing how another family handles those aspects of child rearing.  It's been such an eye-opening experience and it's taught me so much about the kind of parent that I want to be someday.  I know that being a SAHM will NOT be easy.  I know this because being a nanny hasn't been easy a lot of times over the years...and I get to go home at 6:00 every night!  I know that we will have to make a lot of financial sacrifices in order to successfully live on one income.  Thankfully, Dave has a good job and we've been smart about preparing for the future.  We've run the numbers a dozen times, and while it will most definitely be tight, we'll be able to manage.  If things happen to change in a year or two and we decide that living on one income isn't right for us, we'll find a way to make that work too.  January is going to bring SO many changes to our lives, and it will be quite an adjustment to go from taking care of someone else's children every day to taking care of our own, but I really can't wait for the adventure that lies ahead!

Snapshots

Since Halloween is during the week this year, we celebrated with friends this past weekend!  This pic is a little blurry since it's from my iPhone (taken at night), but I just love how our costumes turned out!

Here's a pic of the girls at the party (plus John as Olive Oyl!):

And in completely unrelated news, I FINALLY started baby girl's quilt!

My camera (as usual) did not do a great job of capturing the true colors of the fabrics, but it's turning out great so far and is going to look awesome in her room...even if it will just be a pretty decoration for quite a while until she can actually use it safely.  It should be finished in the next few days and then I'll share some updated pics of her nursery!

27 Weeks - Third Trimester!

*I'm posting this a day early because I'll be at work overnight tonight and won't be home to post tomorrow morning*
Some sources say that the third trimester starts at 27 weeks (others say 28), so I am going with the earlier calculation and am very happy to be in my final trimester of pregnancy today!!  13 weeks, give or take, left :)  Here is my 27 week picture:

Abigail is supposedly the size of a rutabaga this week:

The whole comparison to fruits and veggies thing seems really off to me, but I guess maybe this week the similarity is more about the weight than the actual size?  Who knows!  All I know is that I can definitely tell that she's getting bigger by my increased back pain and her stronger movements this week.

27 week survey:

How far along: 27 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Still minus 9 pounds. I'm going to bring this up at my next OB appointment.  I feel like at this point, I probably should be gaining weight.  I'm honestly still happy that I haven't (my pre-pregnancy jeans can actually still button around my bump, which is really crazy to me!), and I've been starving all the time lately and eating quite a bit.  I still just worry that Abby is not getting what she needs.  Then again, I remind myself that I started this pregnancy in the obese+ category, so perhaps she is getting all that she needs and then some from my fat stores!
Maternity clothes: Yep, everything.  
Stretch marks: A few more old ones have started to darken again.  I imagine it'll only get worse from here on out.  Between my old stretch marks and my enormous appendectomy scar, I don't have a nice looking belly to begin with, so this doesn't bother me too much!
Sleep: I've been exhausted this week!!  Still tossing and turning a lot, but my carpal tunnel hasn't been as bad, so that's been nice. 
Best moment this week: I was actually able to SEE Abby moving the other day!  That was quite fun :)

Movement: She's been very, very active lately!  She's also been kicking up higher finally, which is definitely a different feeling.  I love feeling her move!  It's my very favorite (and probably only favorite, to be honest) part of pregnancy.  Lil Miss is quite a stinker though because as soon as Dave tries to feel her move she stops!!  It's like she knows not to give Daddy any trouble :)

Food cravings: Got some apple butter last week and I have loved slathering it on bread and english muffins!  (Or even eating it by the spoonful!)
Gender: Still a little girl!
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button in or out: Still in for now. 
What I miss: This week I miss being able to comfortably bend all the way over.

What I am looking forward to: Halloween Party this weekend!
Milestones: Made it to the third trimester!  Not much more to go :)  Plus, less than two months of work left, HOORAY!

I had the day off yesterday in exchange for staying overnight with the kids (AGAIN!) tonight.  I just did an overnight last week, so when they proposed that I take a day off in exchange for another one, I gladly accepted.  The kids don't have school tomorrow, so I am already anticipating some grumbling about going to bed at a decent hour tonight.  Too bad I'm absolutely exhausted!  I don't sleep well at their house to begin with, plus tonight the dog is going to have to sleep with me if I have any hope of getting the kids to sleep in tomorrow, which they desperately need because they're tired and cranky.  At least it's almost Friday!  The closer we get to November, the more real it is starting to become that I won't be working for them too much longer!  We have our friends' Halloween party this weekend and I'm really loving our costumes this year, so expect a post about that sometime early next week :)

26 Weeks!

Today I am 26 weeks, and also exactly 6 months, pregnant :)  Time has been flying lately!  According to our baby countdown that my cousin and his wife gave us, there are 97 days (give or take!) until Abby arrives!  How exciting :)  Here is my 26 week picture:

This week Abby is about the size of a head of lettuce:

26 week survey:

How far along: 26 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: minus 9 pounds...still ok with it!
Maternity clothes: Yep, everything.  
Stretch marks: Nothing new this week.
Sleep: Just ok.  I believe I'm experiencing pregnancy carpal tunnel because my hands keep going numb all the time.  This especially happens at night and wakes me up a lot. 
Best moment this week: Tigers are going to the World Series!  That was very exciting to watch and experience with my husband :)

Movement: Movements are getting bigger!  I still love feeling her move.  That is the very best part of pregnancy (and might be the only part I'm truly enjoying)!

Food cravings: Morning sickness has been back in full swing AGAIN, so carbs have helped a little.  Peanut butter seems to help too.
Gender: Still a little girl!
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button in or out: Still in for now.  
What I miss: I miss PTL (Party Time Liz, my fun alter-ego) this week...

What I am looking forward to: Getting together with friends for the MSU - U of M football game this weekend. 
Milestones: 26 week dr appointment went great!

I had my 26 week checkup on Monday and that went great.  My blood pressure is still great, and the doctor finally measured my fundal height (which I had not had done yet) and I was measuring right on.  Abby's heart rate was 152 and she was super active during the appointment.  She kept trying to kick the Doppler away when the nurse was finding her heartbeat!   The nurse just kept laughing and talking about what an active girl we have :)  I talked to the doctor about my morning sickness again, but really there's not much to say.  I thought for SURE it was gone because I went a week and a half without getting sick, but then since last weekend I've been sick 4 out of the last 6 days.  I think I need to just get it in my head that I'll be sick my whole pregnancy, and I need to be thankful that at least it's not every day and that I can keep some food down.  It's just no fun at all!  Other than that, it was a pretty uneventful appointment.

I think I'm having what can best be described as an Identity Crisis lately.  I miss the old me...a LOT.  I feel so boring and un-fun these days.  It's not even just the drinking that I miss - although I do miss it - but I also kind of like not drinking too.  I just feel stuck in limbo right now.  I guess I AM stuck in limbo really, because I'm not who I used to be but I'm not yet who I'm going to become either.  I'm hoping that how I'm feeling is normal, and I know that becoming a mom is going to be a MAJOR adjustment.  It's something that I want so, so badly...and yet I feel like right now all I can do to prepare for her arrival is research and worry.  I'm doing far too much of both these days.  I worry about the stupidest things!!  This morning I actually started looking up whether there were any documented incidents of cats smothering babies in their cribs in the middle of the night.  I'm a crazy person!  I worry how the cat will adjust, how our marriage will be affected, if I'll be able to have a vaginal birth or breast feed like I want to.  I worry that I'll fall asleep while nursing her and drop her onto the hard wood floor!  I worry that I won't be a good mom, or that something will go wrong during birth.  I know in my heart that I just need to CHILL out, but that's hard to do.  I don't think that men go through the same thing when preparing to become a parent.  I have this constant reminder INSIDE OF ME that my life is going to drastically change in just a few short months.  For someone who already has obsessive compulsive tendencies, knowing that she's growing in there makes me think about her all the time.  Perhaps I should start reading a new book series or something to distract me from my crazy, hormonal thoughts!

This weekend while Dave is tackling the leaves in the yard, I am finally going to paint Abby's closet so that I can get all of her new clothes sorted and organized.  Then, as I've been saying for months now, it's on to making her baby quilt.  I finally took the fabrics out of the bag they've been in since I bought them, so it's a start!

Baby Shower Weekend!

We had an amazing weekend that included a reunion with my college girlfriends and their significant others, a home MSU football game, some time with my sister, and not one, but TWO baby showers!  I'm absolutely exhausted but it was all more than worth it :)  My mother-in-law and sister-in-law threw us an absolutely beautiful shower at a restaurant called Brick Street.  They planned every single detail impeccably, from the personalized limited menu, to the beautiful cake and party games.  There was a great turn out for the shower, with lots of family and family friends.  My college girlfriends also threw us a surprise shower Friday night while we were out for our reunion dinner.  It was so much fun to get so many adorable outfits and gifts for Abby!  Here are some highlights and details from the shower.

The restaurant where the shower was held:

Me and my twin sister Barbara, who drove in from Ohio for the weekend:

Me, my sister, and my mom:

The Main family (minus Matt):

Some pictures of the cake table, along with the adorable diaper cake that my sister made for us:

More gifts than we could have ever imagined!

Some of the games, shower favors, and the personalized menu:

We received SO many wonderful gifts, including a stroller, car seat, rock n' play, bouncy seat, play gym, baby carriers, a baby bathtub, a sound machine, a baby monitor, a car seat cover, and many, many more items.  Plus, more clothes than I could ever dream of!  Here are a few pictures of some of my favorite little things we received:

This adorable mobile for Abby's crib:

A Michigan State tutu that Abby will most definitely be wearing many times over the next few years! 

Lots of adorable stuffed animals, including a super-soft teddy bear made from alpaca fur:

 Some handmade art work from my sister that is going to hang over the glider chair: 

Just some of the clothes, blankets, bibs, hats, and socks we received for Abby (plus a cat who is loving all of the new snuggly stuff to cuddle with!): 

I've already decided that this is going to be the outfit that Abby will wear when we bring her home from the hospital!  The insanely adorable hat is from Aunt Jennie (Dave's sister) and the owl outfit is from Aunt Bea (my sister):

I received these gorgeous diapers bags too!  The Kate Spade bag I got a few weeks ago from the family I work for, and the adorable Kalencom bag is from Aunt Melissa (Dave's sister): 

I'm really hoping that Abby will fit into this adorable dress from my college girlfriend Melissa by the time Easter arrives!  It is just gorgeous and came with a matching headband and tiny little socks:

I can't wait to start baby wearing and use this wrap carrier that we got from my college girlfriends Jenn and Sarah:

There are SO many more gifts that I love, but this post would never end if I took pictures of everything!  Our friends are planning to throw us a couples shower in December so we'll get to celebrate baby Abby all over again in just a little while :)  We really are so blessed and lucky to have such wonderful friends and family.  This weekend exceeded all of my expectations and then some!  Words just don't describe enough how truly thankful we are.  I started feeling so emotional just thinking about how loved this little girl is on the way home from our shower yesterday.  We just can't wait until she's here!  In the meantime, I have a LOT of laundry and folding to do! :)

25 Weeks!

Tomorrow marks 25 weeks!  I have to admit that time is really flying lately.  We even have our first baby shower this weekend!  Dave's mom and sisters are throwing it and I am so, so excited.  I'll be sure to write a post about it.  Here is my 25 week picture:

This might be my favorite one yet.  I feel like I finally look pregnant.  Today at school one of the moms asked me when I was due...that hasn't happened to me yet!  It's exciting that other people can tell that I'm pregnant and not just fat.

This week Abby is the size of a large head of cauliflower!  She's approximately 14 inches and weighs somewhere between 1.5 - 2 pounds.  No wonder my bump is getting so big!

25 week survey:

How far along: 25 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: minus 9 pounds. Some of those extra vacation pounds didn't stick.
Maternity clothes: Yep, everything.  
Stretch marks: Nothing new this week.
Sleep: So-so this week.  I've been super tired!
Best moment this week: I've had a few unexpected afternoons off!  That's been wonderful for running errands and stuff.

Movement: She's slowed down a little the past few days, probably just a growth spurt I'm guessing.

Food cravings: Nothing specific this week.
Gender: Still a little girl!
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button in or out: Still in for now.  I don't know if mine will actually pop or not.  We'll see!
What I miss: This week I miss my dark brown hair!  I usually go super dark in the fall, and it is SO light right now.  I can't wait to dye it again once Lil Miss is here.

What I am looking forward to: Our first baby shower is this weekend!! 
Milestones: Someone who didn't already know I was pregnant (at least I don't think she did) asked when I was due!  Hooray for actually looking pregnant.

I've made a few little updates to the nursery.  Here are the latest changes:

Here's my nursing/mom corner with a new little table and lamp.  I'm still waiting to get art work for this area since my sister made some super cute pieces for the room :)

I added two little frames with some fun scrapbook paper in them on either side of Abby's name canvas.  Once again, this wall and the colors did NOT photograph well at all!

A new little owl frame is the latest addition to the gallery wall.  It was a birthday gift from my mother-in-law and I just love it!  I think I'll put a baby picture of Abby in it once she arrives.

The changing table has an added canvas bin courtesy of my friend Ean, along with some new toys and clothes that she and other people have given us.  I need to organize and finish this whole space once we get some more bins, the changing pad, etc.

The dresser alcove now has a little white coat stand (a hand-me-down from the girl I nanny for), along with a new GORGEOUS Kate Spade baby bag that the family I work for gave me as a birthday gift.  I love it so much that I'm afraid to use it, so I don't think it will be my every-day diaper bag.  I may even just use it as a larger purse/tote for myself.  It will work great for longer trips out with the baby, but I need something more practical for day to day use.  Good thing my sister-in-law works for ebags ;) 

The closet is officially cleaned out and awaiting a fresh coat of paint.  I can't decide if I want to paint it the same color as the room and have white trim, or if I just want to paint the whole thing semi-gloss white, which would obviously be much easier.  I may paint just the back wall green.  Anyway, the doors got some fun new knobs that were 1/2 off from Hobby Lobby.

And lastly, here is a picture of what the room looks like now when you walk in:

I'm still absolutely loving the room and how everything is coming together.  Next week I am DEFINITELY getting started on Abby's baby quilt.  I can't believe it's taking me so long to get motivated for this project!  Expect a baby shower post sometime early next week too!  This weekend my college girlfriends will all be in town for a reunion, so we have a very busy weekend planned!

  

24 Weeks!

Last Friday I turned 24 weeks pregnant!  I was unable to blog that day because Dave and I took a trip to Portland, Oregon for a friend's wedding and also to have one last vacation before Abby comes!  We had an AMAZING trip.  Oregon is absolutely stunning, and we had picture perfect weather every single day.  We went to the Portland Zoo, took a trip to the coast for a day, went on a river boat cruise of the Columbia River Gorge, and I even climbed up to a bridge overlooking a waterfall!  It was a very active vacation, but I had a blast sightseeing with my husband, who is my favorite traveling companion :)  The very last leg of our trip our flight home was cancelled, so Dave and I had to rent a car and he drove us home from Chicago in the middle of the night.  That was definitely not fun!  He was such a trooper though and drove the whole time while I slept.  Thankfully now we have our luggage back, and one nice thing about a vacation is that it always feels nice to be home again too!  Here are some 24 week belly pictures:

This week Abby is the size of a small cantaloupe!

I'm feeling a lot better about my pregnancy in general this week.  I still had some back pain over the weekend, especially with how active we were on vacation.  I think this is the first wedding EVER that I haven't danced the night away.  Instead I had to park myself on a stool for the night :(  But I know I'll be able to put my dancing shoes on again soon!

24 week survey:

How far along: 24 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: minus 7 pounds. All that extra eating we did on vacation helped put a few pounds back on.
Maternity clothes: Yep, everything.  Which meant that when our luggage didn't make it home with us, none of my maternity clothes did either!  Thankfully we have everything back now!
Stretch marks: Nothing new this week.
Sleep: Between my arms going numb and waking up to use the bathroom, it's been anything but restful these days.
Best moment this week: The day we spent on the coast in Oregon.  It's a day I'll never forget!

Movement: Feeling Abby lots and lots this past week!
Food cravings: Nothing specific this week.
Gender: Still a little girl!
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button in or out: Still in, but getting more shallow by the day.
What I miss: This week I missed being able to booze it up with our friends at the wedding!

What I am looking forward to: Our first baby shower is this weekend!! I can't wait!
Milestones: Made it to viability week!  Of course there are no guarantees, but if Abby were (God forbid!) to be born now, she would have a much greater chance of survival.  

Here are some more pictures from our trip out west!