One Year Old!!

Abigail is officially one year old!! Wow, that's crazy to believe! This year has honestly flown by. It feels like just yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital. She is still such a wonderful baby. We've got a great schedule going and (knock on wood!!) she is still napping and sleeping great. The schedule makes our days easy to plan! Ever since she started sleeping through the night again around ten months (after we finally night-weaned!), Abby has been waking up earlier. Most days she is up between 6-6:30am. Then we are still loosely following a 2-3-4 schedule, although most days look more like 2.5-3-3.5, or something similar. So, that means that nap #1 is around 8:30am and she usually sleeps for an hour and a half. Then nap #2 is around 1-1:30pm and she sleeps for about 2 hours. Bedtime is between 6:30-7pm, depending on her mood. It's a schedule that still works great for us, since we go to storytime at the library at 10:30am twice a week, and also have a neighborhood playgroup at 10:30am on another day. I know that sometime in the near future she'll transition to one nap, but for now I'm really enjoying her consistency!

We've been slowly working on weaning from breastfeeding over the last few months, and for several weeks now we have just been down to one nursing session a day while we introduced cows milk a little bit at a time. It's very bittersweet for me, but Abby and I had our last nursing session this morning, on her first birthday. I'm so thankful that I was able to breastfeed this long, and I'm also very glad to be done until we have another baby. Hopefully she won't mind not nursing tomorrow! She still loves food and is liking cows milk more and more. Favorite foods include bananas, pears, cheese, eggs, green beans, pasta, and graham crackers. Her one year checkup isn't for a few weeks, but I'm guessing that she weighs about 21 pounds. She is wearing mostly size 12 month clothes, although it really depends on the brand. 

Abby is cruising everywhere these days, and today she let go with both hands while standing up a few times. I would love to see her walking soon! She isn't talking much yet at all. She will sometimes say "cat" and "light", and the word she says the most and actually means is "dada". For the most part, though, she just babbles all day long. She signs "all done" very consistently and without being prompted, which is great. I'd love for her to learn more signs but so far nothing else has caught on. 

I hope to continue to blog about parenting and our family life, but I'll probably stop doing the monthly updates for the most part. I haven't blogged as much as I had planned over the last year, but it's still so nice to look back and see exactly what Abby was up to at a certain age. Hopefully sometime in the near future we can add to our family and get to do it all over again!

I Love You Because You're You

One of my favorite books to read to Abby is called I Love You Because You're You, by Liza Baker.  It's a book about a fox mama and her son, and how she loves him no matter what.  As Abigail's first birthday approaches (tomorrow!), reading the book makes me even more emotional than usual because my baby isn't such a baby anymore!  Here is my own little twist on the book...  

I love you when you're happy,

and grinning ear to ear.

I love you when you're sleepy,

and want to snuggle near.

I love you when you're silly,

and dancing 'round and 'round.

I love you when you're frightened,

and hear a scary sound.

I love you when you're bashful,

and hide behind my knee.

I love you when you're brave,

and from my arms you flee.

I love you when you're curious,

and searching here and there.

I love you when you're proud,

you're head held in the air.

I love you when you're sick,

and need to rest in bed.

I love you when you're frisky,

and standing on you're head.

I love you when you're sad,

and need a kiss and hug.

I love you when you're playful,

 and rolling on the rug.

I love you when you're angry,

and cross your arms and pout.

I love you when you're wild,

and yell and scream and shout.

I love you any way you feel,

no matter what you do.

I love you any way you are,

I love you because you're you.

Thoughts On My First Year of Parenthood

Before we got pregnant and had Abigail, I spent years wanting and yearning for a child. We put off trying to get pregnant time and again, finding some excuse as to why we weren't ready...but I was always ready in that way that a woman knows she wants to be a mother. When we finally decided that we were, in fact, "ready", my body decided that it didn't want to be pregnant, and so we started our journey through countless medications, ultrasounds, procedures, accupuncture needles, and the like. Then we got pregnant, and our daughter was born, and I realized shortly after her birth that I knew absolutely nothing about being a parent. I was so fixated on getting pregnant that I hadn't thought much about what parenting an infant would be like. Before having a child, I would hear veteran parents joke about how they were perfect parents until they actually had kids, and I'd laugh but I never really got it. You see, before you have a child, you really are the "perfect" parent. Or at least I thought I was.

This year I've done SO many things that I swore I would never do. I was never going to let our child watch tv, or give her formula, or feed her fast food (or junk of any kind, really). I was going to love breastfeeding and do it as long as possible. I was never going to raise my voice or get frustrated, never going to let her cry. But this year has taught me so much too. It's taught me what true unconditional love is. I could never have imagined what this kind of love felt like before having Abigail. I've never known love like this in my life, and it honestly takes my breath away. I've learned what, and who, is important to me. I've learned that it's ok to not be "perfect" all the time. I've learned that it's important to take care of myself, and if that means that my daughter watches ten minutes of tv so that I can use the bathroom in peace then so be it. I've learned that our families are even more important than I ever realized before. My relationship with my sister in particular became so much stronger this past year - I honestly would not have gotten through the hard times without her. I've learned that breastfeeding isn't the magical experience that I dreamed it would be, but that I'm lucky to be doing it anyway. We're on the way to being done, and I can't be happier about that, but for nearly twelve months I've nourished our baby with my own milk and that's something I am incredibly proud of. I've learned that I can be an extremely judgmental person, and that it's not a good quality to have. I have thin skin and hate being judged myself, so why is it fair for me to judge others? It's something to work on, for sure. I learned that post-partum depression is NO joke. The things my body went through to have a child were nothing compared to the havoc pregnancy and childbirth wreaked on my emotional state. I've learned that having a child changes the dynamics of a marriage. I didn't think it would...who was I kidding? Thankfully we have a strong bond and we made it through, but not without some hard times. 

I've heard people say that having a child doesn't have to change your whole life...but isn't that the point?? Having Abigail DID change my whole life, in the very best possible way. I can't even remember life without her now. Some days are hard and long, but most are filled with snuggles and smiles and so much love. She makes my heart happy. Staying home and raising her gives me an enormous sense of purpose. This past year has been fast and crazy and full of highs and lows, but it's been absolutely amazing. My only hope is that we get to do it all over again soon!

11 Months Old!

Better late than never! Little Miss Abigail is 11 months old already! This has been a big month for our girl. She's now pulling herself up, cruising, pointing, waving, making lots of new sounds, and following simple requests. It's so amazing to see her change and learn! She understands so much and I know she gets frustrated when she isn't able to communicate her wants with us. Abby has started signing "milk" and "all done", although not consistently. It's fun to see her do the signs though, especially when she does them on her own without me or Dave signing to her first. She has started sucking her thumb a lot more. It used to be something that she only did in her crib, but she learned that it makes her feel better and so whenever she's upset she grabs the nearest stuffed animal and has a little cuddle. It's absolutely adorable, but at the same time I wonder if she will be a thumb sucker well past babyhood! 

Another very big change for Abby is that she is finally night-weaned! A few weeks ago I decided that I was exhausted and tired of nursing in the middle of the night. I knew that physically she did not need to eat in the middle of the night, but in the end I always gave in and ended up nursing her because it was the easiest thing to do. So, one night Dave and I just decided to be strong and resist any night feeding. Dave went in to comfort her and then it took her a looong time to settle back to sleep. She didn't really cry though, so we let her be and eventually she did fall back asleep. That was a few weeks ago and since that first night we have never gone back in her room! She occasionally wakes up and chats or fusses a little, but she settles and goes back to sleep on her own. It has been great!!

We are really looking forward to Abby's first Christmas and then next month we will celebrate her first birthday! This year has really flown by!

10 Months Old!

Today Abigail is 10 months old!  She has finally learned to crawl around a bit and really likes testing boundaries. She can't quite get up on all fours yet, so she sort of drags her body around using her arms and pushing off with her feet. A few weeks ago she had a (late) 9 month well check and she was almost 20 pounds, so we're pretty sure she is over that now.

Abby still loves food and enjoys trying all sorts of new things, especially if they come from Mama and Dada's plates! Favorite foods right now include banana, peaches, mandarin oranges, eggs, cheese, peas, pasta, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and raisins. Occasionally she will refuse a food, but it's not often! She's gotten so great at self-feeding that most days we don't even use a bib anymore. 

We worked past a three day long nursing strike last week and thankfully Abigail is nursing again, although the number of times per day varies. One thing that does NOT vary is that she is still waking in the middle of the night to nurse :-/. She usually wakes up around 3am and starts fussing. I try to let her be and see if she will settle, but her fussing always gets louder and louder until I can tell the tears are about to come. Sometimes we send Dave in to comfort her instead, but that pretty much guarantees a total baby meltdown. She wants to nurse and nothing else. So, almost every night I give in and nurse her, as much as I want to night wean her and get her sleeping through the night like she used to back in her pre-teething days! Thankfully, she nurses and goes right back to sleep, so I can't complain too much. Abby has been taking great naps lately and we follow a really consistent 2-3-4 schedule which works great for us. She usually wakes up at 7am, then naps for about an hour and a half at 9am and again at 1:30pm. Bedtime is at 7pm. It's a schedule I like a lot, and apparently so does she! 

Abby is experimenting with lots of sounds, and sometimes we are pretty sure that she is saying the word "cat". Still no "Mama" yet :( The most amazing thing is her word comprehension these days. If you ask her where Dada, cat, or Mama is, she will look right at the person in question. When we read books I can ask her to turn the page and she knows what that means. She most definitely understands being told no, and she doesn't like it one bit! It's really incredible to watch her learn everyday. 

It's hard to believe that Abby's first Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming up. Then our little girl will be one year old before we know it!

Supplementing and the Road to Weaning

When Abigail was about 6 weeks old, she started refusing to nurse at night before bed. For a few nights we let it be, and then we tried even harder to get her to nurse. It only ended with a screaming, writhing baby and tears from me. So, I pumped and we gave her a bottle of breast milk. Problem solved. Abby loved her nightly bottle. Dave and I took turns putting her to bed every night, so she never got used to the way that only one person did it. It worked like a dream. There was a catch, though. I had to pump that milk. In the beginning, it was so easy to do. I dealt with oversupply issues and could obtain her nightly bottle in just a few minutes. Fast forward a few months and my milk supply had regulated. I was spending more and more time pumping every night after she went to bed. When she started drinking 6 ounces in her bottle every night, I couldn't keep up. I pumped at night and in the morning, and sometimes had to add another session as well, just to get those precious 6 ounces. When Abigail turned 9 monthly old (exactly), I told Dave that I didn't want to do it any more. I was so tired of being a slave to my pump. I didn't want to go back to nursing before bed either, though, so I brought up the idea of supplementing. In my mind, I thought that he would object to giving Abby formula. But of course he didn't, he supported me and understood my desire to be done pumping. I felt guilty that I wanted to stop pumping her bedtime bottle, but I also knew that I was done with that aspect of breastfeeding. So, we went out and bought formula. I thought that she would hate it, or refuse it, or something of the sort. I wanted to try anyway. The first night we mixed 2 ounces of prepared formula with 4 ounces of breast milk. She drank the whole thing and went right to bed! So we upped the formula, and she still drank the bottle without a problem. We gave her an all-formula bottle (the ultimate test!) and she didn't seem to notice the slightest difference. I started pumping less and less, and last night I didn't pump at all. What a HUGE RELIEF it's been. I'm still nursing her 4 times a day and 1-2 times at night, so our breastfeeding journey is no where near over. But not having to spend an hour or so pumping every day has been wonderful!! Formula is EXPENSIVE, so I don't see me stopping nursing any time soon, but I'm honestly looking forward to Abigail turning 1 so we can introduce whole milk and begin the road to weaning. We are hoping to have another baby soon, and I've read that pregnancy can either dry your milk up or change the taste so much that a baby will self-wean. We will just have to see what happens in the next few months. Until then, I'm quite happy to no longer be a slave to my pump!!

9 Months!

Abigail is 9 months old :) She's been out in the world lighting up our lives for as long as she was baking in my belly! Pregnancy seems like a lifetime ago for some reason. Abby is such a little person these days. I think she looks SO big lately, and then I see her in her dad's arms and she looks like a little baby again :)

Abby has her two front bottom teeth and the two front top ones are going to be poking through any day now. Teething has been accompanied by LOTS of night waking and sleep has been scarce for both of us lately. I'm sincerely hoping it passes and she starts sleeping better soon!! We had a stretch of about three days where she was sleeping 10 hours straight again and that felt like bliss compared to this past week!! She has also just started babbling consonants and her favorite phrases to tell are Yaya and Dada! It is beyond adorable, and I have a feeling that this most recent developmental milestone is another reason for her sleep troubles. I can't wait to hopefully hear Mama soon!

Lil Miss is still not crawling. She loves to walk around while holding onto someone's hands and will do that all day if you let her. She likes to stand holding onto the furniture, but the little stinker bites and scratches the couches so we don't let her as often as I wish we could. We borrowed a walker from friends but then I discovered that it was scratching our wood floors, and unfortunately that is just not a price we are willing to pay to let Abby run around in the walker. She gets lots and lots of play time on the floor and my guess is that she will figure out crawling in the next month or two. She's growing so fast!!

Abby is still nursing 5-6 times a day, but she is back to eating all table food too and loving it!! She enjoys eating so much and will pretty much eat anything we give her at this point. It's going great so far! 

Here are some recent pics: