My Pregnancy and Body Image

I've been wanting to write this post for a few weeks now, but I haven't been quite sure how to begin.  So, I guess I'll just start at the beginning...

I've struggled with my weight and body image my entire life.  I guess that up until middle school I would have been considered "average", but once high school hit I spun out of control.  I gained and gained weight and although I hated the way I looked and felt, I never really did much about it.  Eating calmed me.  Food has always been a lifelong companion.  After college I hit my highest weight ever and finally decided that I couldn't stand to hate my body any longer.  I went on an extremely restrictive diet and started an obsessive exercise routine.  Nothing about the way I lost weight was healthy...it involved laxatives, starving myself for days on end, and using just about every dieting "trick" out there.  Looking back, it's evident to me that I was developing an eating disorder, but I was finally losing weight for the first time in my life and that felt more important to me than my health.  I lost 75 pounds in about 9 months and for the first time I didn't hate what I saw in the mirror.  I became obsessed with shopping and trying on clothes just to see if I could fit into smaller and smaller sizes.  A little while after getting down to my lowest weight ever, the relationship I was in at the time ended and I found myself living alone again.  I got a second job at a restaurant to be able to afford living on my own and the pounds slowly started to creep back on. A few years went by and at that point I was right in between my highest and lowest weights, hating my body but not wanting to do anything drastic again to change it.

I met my husband right around that time.  Thankfully, he has always made me feel beautiful and has loved my body just as it is.  Together we both gained and lost weight several times over the years.  In the year before we got pregnant, I put on close to twenty pounds!  I really think it was a combination of the fertility drugs and just not taking care of myself.  The fertility treatments stressed me out and depressed me, and I completely stopped exercising or watching what I ate over that year.  The day we got pregnant I was only thirteen pounds below my highest weight ever.  Scary!!  I really, really disliked my body at that time and worried that pregnancy was only going to make things that much worse.  But, we were having a baby, and the joy I felt because of that made everything else seem so much better.

Fast forward to now.  I've been incredibly lucky to have not gained any weight yet this entire pregnancy.  I think so much of this has to do with the fact that I was very overweight to begin with.  My doctor always tells me that baby will take what baby needs, and so far she has done just that.  The absolute craziest part of this pregnancy to me though is how I feel about my body now.  I've spent my whole life hating how I look... analyzing and criticizing every roll and dimple.  Now my body has a different purpose though.  It's not just about how I look anymore, I'm GROWING another human being inside of me.  It is the most amazing thing I'll ever do in my life.  I've never loved my body more, not for how it looks but for what it can DO.  I don't hate what I see in the mirror anymore...not to say that after giving birth I won't feel differently!  I don't even mind my stretch marks or my cellulite.  I actually like the way I look in my maternity clothes and I feel so proud of my belly.  It's a very strange feeling to have when I've spent my whole life trying to hide in my clothes and feeling uncomfortable in my skin.  Feeling Abby move inside of me is the best thing I've ever felt. Pregnancy isn't very comfortable, and I certainly didn't enjoy it much in the first two trimesters when I was in pain and sick so often, but I am LOVING being pregnant right now.  I'm sad that it will be over soon!  I really can't wait to meet our baby though.  I can't wait to be a family and see my husband as a dad.  I can't wait to be a mom.  I can't wait to see who Abby looks like and what personality traits she gets from me and Dave.  But a small part of me wishes that I could stay pregnant!  And I'm already looking forward to getting pregnant again (although if I can order up a pregnancy without morning sickness that would be amazing!).  What a different tune I'm singing from a few months ago!  I guess hormones will do that to a girl :)  Anyway, I wanted to make sure that I write this post, more for my own sake than anyone else's.  Later, after I've given birth and I'm not feeling so great about my body again, I can look back at this post and remember that it's not just about how I look.  I can remember how grateful I feel right now to be able to grow this baby inside of me and know that every stretch mark and bit of extra skin was for the greatest reason on earth!

36 Weeks

I'm 36 weeks pregnant today and writing the beginning of this post from the doctor's office.  I had another routine non-stress test today but unfortunately Abby didn't cooperate :(  I was hooked up to the monitors for an hour and a half before they took me to have an ultrasound.  The u/s tech I had today was snarky and not at all friendly like the one I've had the last few times.  She said that Abby scored an 8/8 on her biophysical profile, so that was good news.  I'm just waiting to see the doctor now and was told that it's going to be at least a half hour because she is busy doing a procedure.  Talk about being irritated!  At least I don't have to go to work after this.

Here is my 36 week picture.  Please excuse the super tight and short regular t-shirt.  I just didn't feel like getting dolled up for this one!

And here is a close up shot of the baby belly in all of its glory! 

This week Abby is the size of a crenshaw melon, weighing around 6 pounds.  Last week I was told I would be having a growth ultrasound this week, but then today the tech said that's not correct and I won't be having another one at all.  I'm kind of bummed about that!

36 Week Survey
How far along: 36 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I'm at a net loss of 3 pounds as of today.
Maternity clothes: All!
Stretch marks: I have a lot now. 

Sleep: I've been sleeping pretty well this week.  I think it's because I know I don't have to get up and go to work :)

Best moment this week: Christmas was very nice!

Movement: Yes, although I guess she still doesn't move as much as other babies do because she keeps failing her NST's!

Food cravings: I've eaten a lot of Christmas cookies this week.
Gender: Still a girl!
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button in or out: Still in.

What I miss: I missed holiday cocktails this week. 

What I am looking forward to: I'm looking forward to meeting our baby girl!
Milestones: None that I can think of this week. 

I ended up being able to see the doctor and am now finishing this post the following day.  She said that Abby is just fine since she scored an 8/8 on her biophysical profile, so that's good news.  I was still measuring at 35cm, which is what I've been measuring for the last three weeks.  She does want me to have another growth ultrasound next week after all since my fundal height hasn't changed in nearly a month.  The doctor didn't really seem concerned about this, but of course it worries me a little.  Hopefully all is fine and baby girl is still growing right on target.  There was no talk of induction or anything like that yet, especially since my blood pressure was great and I'm not having any other signs of pre-eclampsia.  At this point it's just a waiting game really.  Of course I want Abby to be fully baked and ready for the outside world, but I'm also more than ready to meet our little girl!

35 Weeks!

Today I'm 35 weeks pregnant!  I'm also done with work and have officially "retired", as Dave likes to say.  It was very bittersweet!  I've been ready for so long to move on from my job as a nanny, but the last few days brought a crazy mix of emotions.  It's so bizarre to think that I won't be going to their house every day anymore.  I'm incredibly excited for what's to come, but I can't help but be a little sad at what I'm leaving behind too, if that makes sense.  Here are a few pictures of the twins when they were much younger:

And this is from yesterday, my last day as their nanny:

We certainly had some rough times, and the job was not always perfect and definitely not glamorous, but overall it was such a great experience for me.  I've cared for those kids since they were 4 years old and now they are almost 14!  The family always treated me very well and compensated me extremely generously.  Every time I thought about leaving, I found so many more reasons to stay.  I really hope that they can continue to be part of my life and get to know Abby too.

Now, on to my 35 week picture!  Don't mind my weird half-smile, I took this in a huge hurry.

This week Abigail weighs as much as a honeydew melon!  She is running out of room as space is getting tight.  Most of her basic physical development is now complete and she just needs to spend the next few weeks fattening up!

This week I thought I would try out a different survey, since the weeks are dwindling down!

Age when you found out you were pregnant: 31

Did you experience any pregnancy symptoms?: Morning sickness and lots of it!

How far along were you when you found out?: 3 weeks and 3 days when I got my first + home test.  3 weeks and 5 days when the blood test confirmed.

Was your little one planned or a surprise?: Very much planned!

When is your EDD?: 1/25/13

How many weeks are you currently?: 35

Is this your first child? If not, how many do you have?: First!

What was your first reaction when you found out you were pregnant?: Complete shock and extreme happiness at the same time!

Who was the first person you told that you were pregnant?: Dave, followed by my sister.

How far along were you when you felt baby kick for the first time?: I started feeling flutters just shy of 14 weeks.

What month did you find out the sex of your baby?: August

Are you having a boy or girl?: GIRL!

What cravings have you had?: SWEETS.  Chocolate, ice cream, french toast with syrup, gummy worms...just lots and lots of sugar.

Have you/are you planning on attending any Lamaze classes?: No, but we took a child birth class.

Do you have a name picked out?: Yep!  Abigail Elizabeth Main

When did you decide on a name? Who picked it?: We had chosen Seth and Amelia for our two names...but my feelings that the baby was a girl were very strong.  Right before our elective 16 week gender scan, I realized that I wasn't in *love* with the name Amelia anymore.  I was visiting my sister in OH when I called Dave urgently and told him we needed to find a new name.  He wanted to wait until after we found out for sure what we were having, but in my heart I really just knew it was a girl and she needed to be named right that minute!  Abigail had been on our short list of girl names before, so he suggested it again.  I was leaning towards Leah, but couldn't get him on board.  I've always loved the name Abigail (and the nickname Abby), so we agreed on Abby.  We found out at the ultrasound that it was in fact a girl!  It was wonderful to be able to call her by her name right from the moment we knew that she was a little girl :)  Having her name picked out and sharing it with family and friends has helped me develop a really strong connection to her before her birth.

What kind of birth plan are you considering?: I would really like to have a vaginal birth, but I want an epidural if possible.  I don't need a gold star at the end of this, just for me and Abby to both be healthy!

What pregnancy discomforts have you experienced?: Morning sickness up until the third trimester was probably the worst of it.  It seems like a distant memory now though!  Carpal tunnel, plus back aches and body pains are my main discomforts.  I'm actually finally starting to really enjoy my pregnancy.  Go figure since it'll be over soon!

What pregnancy related books have you read/are you currently reading?: My sister gave me a huge stack of pregnancy and baby books that I've browsed throughout pregnancy.  The main book on my to-read list right now is "Happiest Baby On The Block", which came highly recommended by our childbirth class instructor as well as several blog moms I follow online.

Any weird pregnancy dreams?: Definitely.  None that I can recall right now though!

Who do you want in the delivery room with you?:  Just Dave.  I believe that child birth is something private that just he and I should share together.  In fact, we would prefer not to have any visitors for at least a couple of hours so that I can establish breastfeeding and we can both have ample skin-to-skin bonding time with Abby before other family members want to hold her.  Selfish, maybe, but we worked really hard to have her and I don't want to have to share her right away :)

Are you planning on breast feeding?: Yes.  I'm really nervous about it because sometimes women with my hormonal condition can have low supply issues.  I feel just about as prepared as I can be though, and I'm willing to do just about anything to make it work!

Do you plan on having any more little ones?: Yes, we would like one more!

We have a very busy few days coming up.  Today I have my weekly OB appointments all morning, and then this afternoon my sister and her family are coming to town for the weekend to celebrate Christmas with us.  I can't wait to see my niece and nephew!  Next week is Christmas already, which I can't even believe!  If I get any more ultrasound pictures or news from today's appointments I will be sure to update.  Until then, Happy Holidays!

34 Week NST and Ultrasound

This week I started being monitored more closely due to my preexisting hypertension.  I really do like that they are monitoring me so closely, but at the same time the appointments have been a bit of a pain to schedule around work.  Thankfully since I'll be done working after this Thursday, that won't be a problem anymore!  I went in to have my first non-stress test (NST) done on Friday morning.  I was also scheduled to have a quick ultrasound to check my amniotic fluid level, plus an office visit with one of the doctors.  For the NST, the nurse took me back behind a curtained-off area and had me get comfortable in a leather recliner.  Then she hooked up two different monitors to my bump, one to monitor Abby's heart rate and one to monitor any contractions.  NST's are supposed to last about 20 minutes or so, and the test measures how the baby's heart rate reacts to her movements.  After 20 minutes, Abby was not responding the way that they wanted her to, so I had some juice and a snack to try to get her moving.  After another 20 minutes, she still wasn't responsive.  At this point the nurse went to get the doctor, and then I stayed hooked up to the monitors for yet another 20 minutes.  The nurse then came back in and took me straight to an ultrasound room.  I was really starting to freak out by that time thinking that something was wrong with our baby!  The strangest thing is that I honestly felt like Abby was moving just like normal.  I feel her move a lot throughout the day, but it's never really huge movements.  She's a pretty mellow baby I guess!  So, I went in for the ultrasound and thankfully got the same tech that Dave and I had last week at our growth ultrasound.  She was super nice and throughout the ultrasound reassured me that Abby was just peacefully sleeping and sucking on her fingers.  We watched her practicing her breathing over and over again, which is apparently a good sign because a baby in distress would not be practice breathing.  The tech finally got Abby to move a little bit and after about a half hour, she said that Abby had passed the test and I could go see the doctor now.  I didn't actually realize there was a specific test being done!  I went into another exam room and immediately met with yet another doctor from the practice, Dr. Thomas.  She was quite young and very nice.  Dr. Thomas reassured me right away that Abby was perfectly fine and just happened to be sound asleep for most of the NST.  She explained that during the ultrasound the tech did a biophysical profile on the baby and that she scored an 8 out of 8.  This meant that she was doing her practice breathing, she opened and closed her hands and performed other body movements, the amniotic fluid level was adequate, and her heart rate increased appropriately with movement.  Talk about being relieved!!  My blood pressure was 112/72, which the doctor said was great.  I was actually measuring a little smaller than I was last week, but that could be due to the baby's position and also just the way that each doctor might measure slightly differently.  The doctor said everything was great and sent me on my way!  For my next NST I'm going to be sure to eat a bigger meal closer to the test time and also have some sugary juice.  I ate breakfast a few hours before my appointment this week and only had a small snack right before the NST, so hopefully changing the time that I eat will keep Abby awake and active during the test.  Here are some of the ultrasound pictures that the tech printed for us!

Here is Abby sucking on her fingers while sleeping

And here is her cute little fist :) 

That's all the updates I have for now!  Our next appointment is on Friday when I turn 35 weeks.  We also have my sister, brother-in-law, niece, and nephew coming to visit for a long weekend so that should be lots of fun and I'll try to remember to take lots of pictures!

34 Weeks!

Today marks 34 weeks of pregnancy under my belt!  Today I also start having non-stress tests, amniotic fluid checks, and at least weekly check-ups.  My OB's office called yesterday to let me know that they will most likely be adding more NST's, so those will probably be biweekly soon.  I'm a little nervous to start all this testing!  I just hope that Abby is still doing great.  She's moving around a ton right now, so it will be just my luck that she'll be asleep for the NST and it will take twice as long.  Fingers crossed that doesn't happen. This week I've been feeling pretty good pregnancy-wise, but on Wednesday night I started getting a sore throat, and by Thursday when I woke up I had a super sore throat, a headache, body aches, congestion, etc.  Not fun!  I took a short day at work because I had to go to my breastfeeding class that night, and the extra rest did seem to help a bit.  I'm still not feeling super great, but I feel too guilty taking any more paid time off work right now, so I'm just going to have to power through today.  Thankfully we have a pretty low key weekend on the calendar so I should be able to get a lot of extra rest.  Here is my 34 week picture:

This week Abby weighs as much as a cantaloupe, which is about 4.75 lbs.  That sounds just about right since she weighed about 4 pounds 5 ounces last week.

34 Week Survey

How far along: 34 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I lost 2 pounds this week, which is a total net loss of 5 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight.  I think it was partially from feeling sick and not eating as much.  Plus I've noticed that my stomach seems smaller lately.  I tried to eat a big dinner last night and felt nauseous for a while afterwards.
Maternity clothes: All!
Stretch marks: Nothing new is really noticeable this week.

Sleep: Meh.  It is what it is.

Best moment this week: I can't really think of anything this week!  Hopefully once I'm feeling better my attitude will turn around.  Maybe the mild weather?

Movement: Yep, lots.

Food cravings: French toast this week!  With butter and syrup.  I had it at least three times.  Yum!
Gender: Still a girl!
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button in or out: Still in.

What I miss: Just sleeping on my stomach and being able to have a cocktail, the usual things.

What I am looking forward to: Hopefully everything going well at today's OB appointment, and being done working!
Milestones: This coming week I'll officially be 8 months along.

I think that's all for the week. I am really ready to be done working. Just four days left next week and that's it! My boss has decided that she is going to keep working part time, which then brought ideas to my mind about me also working part time. It's nothing they've suggested, but I know that if I brought the idea to them they would most likely take me up on it. Part of me thinks that the extra money would be worth it, but then another part of me really wants to stop working for good for now and take some time at home with the baby. In the end, I guess I can always reassess in a few months and see how things are going. The funny thing is that the family I work for has had 8 months to figure things out and all along the plan was that the mom was no longer going to be working. Now that her plans have changed, it's making me second guess our plans too. But there's no question in my mind that I want to be a stay at home mom, so I'd like to at least give it a try. We've run the numbers back and forth and although it will be really tight, with some sacrifices we can make it work. The appeal of a not-so-tight budget is certainly there though, so I guess it's something to keep on the back burner for now. We'll see how things go!

Our Couples Shower!

This past weekend our friends Kendra and Ali hosted a couples baby shower for me and Dave!  The shower was so much fun and as usual, Kendra and Ali were the perfect hostesses!  It was so great to celebrate Abby's upcoming arrival with lots of our good friends, including some that we haven't seen in quite a while.  Several babies have been welcomed into the group in the last year and there will be a few more this coming year too, so it's an exciting time to say the least!  I love that we are getting to experience parenthood with our friends and that our babies will grow up together!

Our friends love to get together for a party and the shower was no exception :)  Beverages were flowing, and after a few games we had salad and pizza from a great local place.  Dave and I received so many adorable clothes, toys, books, and other items for Abby.  We're pretty much ready for her arrival other than a few little odds and ends!  Some of the games at the shower included a game called Couple Shuffle, where Kendra used a computer program to mesh peoples' faces together to see what their adult children would look like!  The game included everyone at the party and it was hilarious trying to figure out which two people (not always from an actual couple!) were represented.  Guests also had to try to guess how many times I used the restroom in a four hour time period!  The guys all played a game where they had to see how far they could launch a pacifier using only their mouth, and we all played a baby facts trivia game.  They were very fun and original games and my cheeks hurt from laughing!  After games, dinner, and gifts most guests stayed for hours talking, drinking, and playing games.  Dave and I finally called it a night around 11pm, but I'm sure the party continued for a while after that :)  Here are some pictures from the shower:

We feel so lucky to have so many great friends to celebrate this big event with!  I'm hoping baby girl bakes for a few more weeks and then before we know it, we'll be PARENTS!  

33 Week Ultrasound

We had a growth ultrasound today to check on how Abby is doing and it went great!  She is estimated to be about 4 pounds 5 ounces and is right on track!  I'm still measuring large, but my doctor said that's fine because Abby's size is perfect.  All of her measurements and organs looked great too!  The tech was not able to see her hands and feet very well because her hands were squished up against her face, but she thought that they looked fine too from what she could tell.  Baby girl is head down, with her feet up in my ribs just like I suspected.  Although she was kind of doing a little split today and had one foot way up by my ribs and the other down by her face!  Silly girl :)  Everything with me was great too, my blood pressure was perfect and weight was really good as well (for me, anyway!).  I asked the doctor about if I'll be able to go to 40 weeks or not given that I haven't had any complications this far, but she said that no matter what we WILL have a baby by my due date.  They won't let me go later because of my preexisting hypertension.  So that means we will definitely have a baby in seven weeks or less!  Abby is on track to be about 8 to 8.5 pounds if I make it to 40 weeks.  Eek!  I'm hoping for somewhere between 7 and 8 myself :)  Here are a couple of new ultrasound pictures:

I just love her chubby little cheeks!  They were able to tell that she has some hair too, so that's exciting.  We can't wait to meet her!

33 Weeks!

Today marks 33 weeks!  Holy moly, we will have a baby in about 7 weeks (or less!)!  That is scary and yet so incredibly exciting too.  I've been thinking so much about her this week.  I just can't wait to meet her and see what she looks like and hold her skin to skin.  It's funny, because I thought that the time we spent doing fertility treatments felt like an eternity...but this pregnancy feels so much longer than those 14 months!  I feel like we've been waiting forever for her to be here.  As long as she bakes until at least 37 weeks (which is considered full term) I would be happy...although really 38 or 39 weeks would be even better.  Any time after that though she is more than welcome to make her appearance!  Here's my 33 week picture:

This week Abby is about the size of a durian fruit.  I have absolutely NO idea what that is, but here's a picture:

Abby is probably around 4 pounds and 17 inches long, although we'll get a better estimate later this morning when we have a growth ultrasound!  She is heading into yet another growth spurt and could grow up to another inch this week...eek!!  I am feeling SOO big and uncomfortable lately.  Round ligament pain has been back, to the point where I almost thought that I was having contractions.  The pain went away when I changed positions or laid down though, so it was most likely stretching and growing.  It was quite painful though!  Dave and I were in Walgreens one night when all of a sudden I couldn't walk without sharp pain.  I ended up having to go wait in the car and then went home and waited out the pain.  I can't even imagine how much more growing I still have left to do.  I compared my belly now to some pictures that my sister sent me during her first pregnancy.  I think we look about the same size at 32 weeks, but the crazy amount that her belly grew between 32 and 36 weeks is super scary!!  And she had my nephew at 38 weeks.  I'm honestly really hoping that I have Abby around 38 weeks too because right now I just can't wrap my head around my belly growing that much!

33 Week Survey:

How far along: 33 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Up another 2 pounds this week.  3 pounds under my prepregnancy weight at this point.
Maternity clothes: All!
Stretch marks: More old ones are stretching out, especially around my appendectomy scar.  I think it's because the skin pulls tighter there already (my scar is quite large, nothing like the tiny ones they make today!)

Sleep: Not great this week.  I finally broke down a took a Benedryl one night just to get a full night of sleep.  It was total bliss, but since I can't do that every night (or wouldn't feel comfortable doing that, I should say) sleep has been hard to come by lately. 

Best moment this week: My mother-in-law took my last blog post about offering a pregnant woman ice cream to heart and sent me a sweet card and a gift certificate for my favorite frozen yogurt shop!  That put a huge smile on my face  :-) Can't wait to use it!!

Movement: Yes, still quite a bit, although she spends a lot of time sleeping too.  The moments I love the most are when she responds to my touch.  I took a bath one night and whenever the warm water washed over my belly she stuck her little foot out.  It was so fun to watch!  

Food cravings: Nothing super specific this week.  Sweets, of course.  Mostly, I've noticed that while my appetite has grown, my stomach seems to be shrinking.  It's really easy for me to overeat and then I just end up feeling sick.
Gender: Girl!
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button in or out: Still in.

What I miss: Sleep...while laying on my stomach too!

What I am looking forward to: Our growth ultrasound this morning and couples baby shower tomorrow!
Milestones: Finished our child birth classes!

Fingers and toes crossed that all goes well at our appointment this morning.  I'm hoping to get a few more ultrasound pictures and will update the blog later this weekend with a post about the appointment and also one about our shower!

32 Weeks!

32 weeks pregnant today!  I am feeling SOOO BIG lately.  I've seriously got about an inch left between my belly and the steering wheel in our van before I need to move it up and out of the way.  I don't think my picture from this week looks much different than the past few weeks, but I feel so much bigger for some reason!

I forced myself to wear my maternity jeans this week and they didn't fall down as much.  Maybe because my belly is bigger now it's easier for them to stay up?  They're still not the most comfortable things in the world because they dig in where the secret panel ends and the denim begins.  But at least I don't have to live in just leggings for the next 8 weeks anymore.  

This week Abby is the size of a red squash or a jicama.

She is most likely in the head down position now and is fattening up in preparation for life in the outside world!

32 Week Survey:

How far along: 32 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: No change this week, still a net loss of 5 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight.
Maternity clothes: All!
Stretch marks: Nothing new this week.

Sleep: I'm still breaking in my wrist braces and have yet to make it through an entire night with them on.  More than anything, flipping from side to side is getting to be quite the challenge with this big belly in the way!  I'm tired, but not as tired as I'm sure I'll be with a newborn in the house!

Best moment this week: Got off work early two days in a row!

Movement: Yes, still lots.  I really notice now when she's sound asleep and when she's up and at 'em.  

Food cravings: One night this week I wanted a chocolate milkshake so bad that I had to go get one right that minute!
Gender: Still a little girl!  At least she'd better be.  Hopefully we will get yet another confirmation at our growth ultrasound next week.
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button in or out: Still in.

What I miss: Being able to run around and be on my feet without having major back pain :-/

What I am looking forward to: Our growth ultrasound and couples baby shower next week!
Milestones: I'm not sure there was one this week.

I'd now like to treat everyone to a little something I'll call "How To Speak To a Pregnant Woman In Her Third Trimester"...

When you ask her how she's feeling and she says that she is having a lot of back and hip pain, you should NOT say, "Oh, but you still have SOOO much time left!  Have you talked to your doctor about this?  How will you make it all the way to your due date?"  Instead, you should say, "She'll be here before you know it and the pain will disappear.  Here, have some ice cream!"

You should NOT say, "Wow, you look huge lately!"  Instead, you should say, "You look amazing!  You're all belly and are definitely not showing anywhere else.  From the back I wouldn't even know you're pregnant!  Here, have some ice cream!"

You should NOT tell me how horrible your birth, epidural, c-section, breastfeeding experience, etc was before I have had the chance to experience any of these things for myself.  Instead, you should tell me how amazing being a parent is and that it's all worth it.  And of course, OFFER ME ICE CREAM!

I realize that these are lofty expectations and that I am an extremely cranky pregnant woman, so I'll do my best to forgive any transgressions.  Basically, it's been a long week.  My back and hips are hurting, I do have a long way to go until my due date and I am HUGE.  Or at least I feel huge anyway.  Not to mention that we hit a car after child birth class the other night and it most definitely belonged to the only parents in our class who are having twins.  And it was their brand new car.  It was a complete accident and everything will be fine, and really I'm just grateful that no one was hurt, but it still threw a kink in the week.  Combine that with the enormous half-giant baby that I'm convinced is growing inside me and I'm ready to settle down for my long winter's nap!

31 Weeks!

Today marks 31 weeks of pregnancy complete!  And I'm officially over 7 months along too :)  Here's my 31 week picture:

This week Abigail is the size of a pineapple!!

She's now about 16 inches long and 3.3 pounds and is heading into another growth spurt!  I, on the other hand, feel like I can't get any bigger.  Since I still have a ways to go, though, I'd better get used to it!  I've had most of the week off work and it has been WONDERFUL.  In direct correlation, I've felt a lot better too.  My back pain hasn't been nearly as bad, which I attribute to being on my feet so much less throughout the day.  I've still kept busy and actually had a lot of errands to run and stuff, but I've been able to take breaks when I need them and that has made all the difference.  Less than four weeks left of work now (but hey, who's counting?!) so I've got to just suck it up and get through it!

Yesterday was Thanksgiving, and for the first time in a few years I didn't host.  We went to my in-laws house and had a fabulous meal and a very nice day with the family.  While I love cooking and have really enjoyed hosting Thanksgiving the last couple of years, it was SO wonderful not to have to do it this year!!  Plus my mother-in-law still sent us on our way with some of her delicious sweet potatoes and of course PIE, which I'll probably be having for breakfast today! :)

Here's my 31 week survey:

How far along: 31 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Net loss of 5 pounds total.  I was scared to weigh myself this morning since yesterday was Thanksgiving, but I was only up a pound from last week, which is better than where I was a few days ago.  I'll take it!  I'm supposed to be gaining about a pound a week from here on out anyway, so if I can limit it to that one pound that's great in my eyes.
Maternity clothes: Oh yes.  Some of my maternity shirts are even getting tight and my maternity jeans aren't comfortable at all anymore so I have completely stopped wearing them at this point (other than for some of the weekly pictures!).  I really don't want to have to buy many more new things so hopefully I can manage with the pieces that I have.  
Stretch marks: Nothing new this week.

Sleep: Better since I got my carpal tunnel braces, but I'm still breaking those in.

Best moment this week: Thanksgiving and having lots of time off!

Movement: She definitely has patterns to her movement now.  There are times when I can tell she is sleeping and then other times when she's awake and playing around in there.  Yesterday Dave's mom and grandma even got to feel her kicking!  Although she wouldn't cooperate for Aunt Jennie, unfortunately :(

Food cravings: Nothing new here - sugar!
Gender: Still a little girl!
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button in or out: Still in for now! 
What I miss: Wine/cocktails.  Especially with it being Thanksgiving.  We usually let the wine flow!

What I am looking forward to: Friends Thanksgiving tomorrow, plus a growth ultrasound and our couples baby shower in two weeks!
Milestones: Over 7 months now!  And a complete over-share...I had to buy the largest size bra I've ever purchased in my life!  Nothing fit anymore so it was time.  I can't even imagine what things will be like once my milk comes in.

Child birth classes are still going well and have been kind of interesting.  It's been good to learn about all the different pain management techniques, but I still know that I want an epidural if it's possible for me to have one.  All the talk of tearing and cutting had me pretty freaked out, but that's a normal part of child birth too so it's probably going to happen if I have a vaginal birth whether I like it or not!  Next class we have a "labor rehearsal", which just sounds ridiculously embarrassing.  I know that in the moment I won't care who is there, but practicing labor in a class with 30 other people is awkward!  We're supposed to be scheduling our tour of labor and delivery soon and then I should probably start thinking about packing my hospital bag sometime in the next few weeks, just in case!

30 Weeks!

30 weeks today!  Abby is 3/4 of the way baked!  I'm excited, to say the least, about being in the final home stretch.  Our baby countdown says there's only 69 days left until our due date!  That seems like nothing when I really think about it.  Perhaps almost as exciting, I only have 20 actual work days left (not counting today)!  I remind myself of this multiple times a day when I'm almost going crazy at work because I'm just so DONE with it all.  Only 20 more days is incredibly doable, plus reminding myself of how much extra $ will be in our bank account because of those 20 days helps keep me motivated too.  I'm sure the time will fly!

Here's my 30 week pic:

This week Abby weighs as much as a large head of cabbage and is as long as an English cucumber:

How far along: 30 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Minus 6 pounds total. I put on about 3 pounds this week and managed to hang on to them.  I feel like 3 pounds in one week is a LOT, but I have to remind myself that I'm still under my pre-pregnancy weight and everything is completely fine.  At my last appointment the doctor said my weight is great, so that was good to hear.  
Maternity clothes: Yep, everything.  
Stretch marks: Nothing new this week.

Sleep: Meh, not great.  Not good at all really.  My pregnancy carpal tunnel has gotten really bad.  My doctor prescribed wrist splints for me, so hopefully I'll be able to go pick those up in the next few days.  They're at a special medical supply store and not our usual pharmacy, so that's why I haven't gotten them yet.  My hands are not only going numb while doing almost anything lately (especially sleeping!), but I've started to get some pain in my right hand.  It makes doing normal, every day things much more difficult!

Best moment this week: Got a new iPhone 5!  Dave and I decided that this year for Christmas we were going to buy new iPhones instead of other gifts.  We both had iPhone 4's, and while mine was working perfectly fine, Dave's was not.  His screen was starting to go and his camera no longer worked.  With baby girl on the way, I really want us both to be able to snap pictures and take videos easily, so new phones made sense.  I love my new phone!  It's not even that much different from the old one, but it's much lighter, has a bigger screen, and is FAST.  Plus, the camera is a really great improvement over the camera in my iPhone 4, and I upgraded to more storage so that I'll have plenty of room to store lots and lots of pictures of Abby!

Movement: Her movement has really seemed to slow down this week.  The only reason I can come up with is that it's starting to get a bit crowded in there.  I'm pretty sure she had the hiccups last night for the first time though, so that was pretty funny to me!

Food cravings: I doubt this will ever change...SUGAR.  I really need to start trying to change my habits now because there is no way in hell I'll be able to eat as much sugar once she's born as I do now without gaining massive amounts of weight.
Gender: Still a little girl!
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button in or out: Still in for now. 
What I miss: Wine this week!

What I am looking forward to: We've got the last tailgate of the year tomorrow, so here's hoping that we don't freeze!  Then next week the family I nanny for is going out of town for Thanksgiving, so I'll have some paid time off, which I am really, really looking forward to.  We're celebrating Thanksgiving with Dave's family, and then we have our annual Friend's Thanksgiving over the weekend.  Also, our couples baby shower is just a few weeks away!  Lots to look forward to :)
Milestones: 3/4 of the way baked!

This week Dave and I started our childbirth classes.  The class was much larger than I expected!  There were about 15 couples and the class was completely full.  I really like the instructor, but I have to admit that I didn't really learn anything that I didn't already know from books and other research I've done.  If anything, I think the class will be good for Dave so that he can have an idea of what to expect.  He refused to watch the video of an actual live birth (he just looked at the screen over his glasses so he couldn't see anything!), so I'm sure that no matter what kind of birth I end up having it will be an interesting process for both of us!  He still maintains that no matter what, he will be staying "north of the equator".  We'll see how that all pans out when we're in the moment!  We've got three more classes over the next three weeks, and then I am taking a breastfeeding class and we have a hospital tour scheduled, so after that we should be all set.  

The next big project to cross off the list is finding a pediatrician, and I feel like we need to get on that pretty quick!  I have an idea of a few practices that I would like to check out, so hopefully the decision process won't take too long.  The main requirements that I have are that it's fairly close to home, the doctors and nurses are friendly, yet professional, and a bonus would be a practice with separate waiting areas for sick and well children.  I know for certain that I do NOT want to choose the pediatrician that the kids I nanny for go to, because I really don't like their office, nurses, or doctors.  Plus the wait times are always terrible.  It would be nice if I liked that office better though, because it's in the same building as our family doctor.  Hopefully we can find a place that we like easily!

29 week office visit

I had another OB appointment this morning and saw yet another doctor from the practice.  Her name was Dr. Garren, and while she was very nice, she was quite a bit more intense than any of the other doctors I've seen so far.  Basically, because of my history of hypertension, plus the fact that my sister had pre-eclampsia with her fist pregnancy, they want to start monitoring me very closely soon.  In a few weeks we'll go in for a growth ultrasound, and then from there I will be having weekly - or possibly even biweekly - non-stress tests, amniotic fluid checks, and office visits.  They basically just want to make sure that Abby is still growing properly and that the placenta is functioning normally as my pregnancy progresses.  It means a lot more appointments for me, which on the one hand I'm grateful for because we'll have reassurance that Abby is doing well.  On the other hand, the appointments will be long and I'll have to miss some work, which I'll need to try to work out with my bosses.  I'm looking forward to being done with work so that I can have greater flexibility with my appointment scheduling and won't have to stress out about missing work for an appointment.  Dr. Garren said that with my previous hypertension, plus the fact that this is my first baby, and that my sister had pre-eclampsia, my risk for developing pre-e is over 50%.  That was a little scary to hear!  There's not really much I can do about it though besides continue my blood pressure medication, monitor my blood pressure at home, and be closely monitored by my doctor.  Other than the increase in appointments coming up soon, Abby was doing great.  My blood pressure was really good, and I am measuring 31 cm, which is just a tad big but Dr. Garren said is totally fine.  Abby's heart rate was 146 and the nurse noted that as of right now she is lodged up in my rib cage.  I think that's all for the updates right now!

Embellished Burp Cloths

One thing that we don't have many of yet is burp cloths.  Spit up and I don't really get along too well.  In fact, burping is one thing that I really don't have down...ask any of my friends with babies.  Once the baby needs burped or spits up, I give that baby back to its mom or dad!  Of course, when Abby is born I'll be her mom and will need to get the hang of burping and not gagging whenever she spits up.  I've heard from friends that plain old cloth diapers work great as absorbent burp cloths.  I wanted to make them a little prettier, since if I'm going to be getting spit up on I at least want to use a cute burp rag!  I picked up a pack of plain Gerber pre-fold cloth diapers and embellished the center panel with fabric scraps leftover from Abby's baby quilt and other old sewing projects.  I basically followed this tutorial: http://chickpeastudio.typepad.com/chickpea_sewing_studio/diaper-burp-cloth-tutoria.html

As with all of my sewing projects, these burp cloths are far from perfect!  The great thing about this project is that they don't have to be anywhere near perfect because a) no one will notice, and b) they're going to be used to clean up drool and spit up anyway!  I think they're adorable and love how they turned out.  I used a zigzag stitch on some of the panels and a straight stitch on others.  The zigzag worked more effectively to catch all the edges of the panel, but I have very limited experience with that stitch and using it definitely had a learning curve!  I used a straight stitch on some of them simply to speed things along, but I prefer the look of the zigzag stitch.  I think a big stack of these would make a great baby shower gift!

29 Weeks!

Today marks 29 weeks!  I am definitely starting to feel Abby's size these days.  I believe that she might be in the head down position (at least some of the time, she still has enough room to change positions at this point).  There are times in the day where it feels like there's a bowling ball between my legs! She also likes to get right up under my ribs on my right side and sitting can be very uncomfortable sometimes.  I'm really starting to feel the discomfort that comes with being in the third trimester!  Here is my 29 week picture:

This week Abby is about the size of a butternut squash:

Abigail is a little over 15 inches long this week and about 2 and a half pounds.  She is over 2/3 her final size and her bones are almost fully developed.  That I definitely believe, I can feel her bones poking me!  It's a very strange feeling.  This week I've started to feel REALLY big.  My back has been hurting me a lot and I've lost some of the usual pep in my step, especially while working.  Bending down to pick things up or put my boots on is getting to be pretty difficult as well.  I'm thankful at this point that I don't have too much longer left at work!

29 week survey:

How far along: 29 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Minus 9 pounds as of this morning. I'm now convinced that this baby is just using my fat stores from other places on my body.  I'm fine with it!  I've got an appointment with a different doctor on Monday so I'm sure it will come up.
Maternity clothes: Yep, everything.  
Stretch marks: A few more are stretching out.
Best moment this week: Skyping with my niece and nephew was definitely one of the highlights!

Movement: So much movement!  I've started doing kick counts in the mornings and it's never taken me more than a few minutes to get to 10.  She's a busy girl!

Food cravings: Still just sugar, sugar, sugar.  MUST STOP EATING PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!
Gender: Still a little girl!
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button in or out: Still in for now. 
What I miss: Not having back pain and ligament pain :-/ 

What I am looking forward to: Date night tonight and then another quiet weekend at home.  Seriously, I have become incredibly antisocial lately and I don't even care.  By the time the weekend is here I just want to lounge around and nap all weekend!
Milestones: Passed my glucose test!

I got an email from my OB's office this week that the results of my glucose test came back normal, which is great!  They also informed me that my hemoglobin is low, which means I'm anemic.  It's super common in pregnancy and they just want me to take an iron supplement twice a day.  The good news is that it may explain why I've been so exhausted lately and also the tingling and numbness in my hands, which I guess is a sign of anemia.  Anyway, I still need to go pick up a supplement, so I am hoping to cross that off my to-do list asap and we'll see if the added iron makes a difference.  In the meantime, I've been trying to add more iron to my diet too, so hopefully that will help.  I am thrilled about passing the glucose test though! I just really didn't want to have to take the three hour test, or even worse, give up my beloved sugar for the rest of my pregnancy.  Of course I would have if necessary, but it's nice to not have to deal with a complication like gestational diabetes.  In other news, I decided this week to have half of a small glass of red wine with a pasta dinner we were having one night.  It was absolutely delicious and I savored every sip...but then I felt horribly guilty the entire rest of the night!  There is conflicting research on the topic of alcohol in the third trimester of pregnancy, but I'm not really one to believe that half a glass of wine consumed with food is enough to cause any sort of detriment to the baby.  That being said, I was paranoid and worried about her movements all evening, so I can very safely say that while I really enjoyed that small glass of wine, I will be waiting until after delivery to do it again!  I have a routine appointment with yet another doctor on Monday, so I'll post about that sometime next week.  Until then, I'll be sleeping...hopefully!