Thursday, May 14, 2015

Vacation Without the Kiddos

When Andrew was just about two months old, Dave was asked to attend a conference in Vegas in May. We learned that I could go with him, and I jumped at the chance! I knew that it would be SO hard to leave our babies, but I also knew that I would probably be in desperate need of a break. Fast forward a few months and we are in Vegas!! And I was right about both statements. I needed this break more than I had even imagined that I would. Surviving that long winter with a newborn and a toddler sucked the life right out of me. I haven't felt like my old fun-loving self in a LONG time. But now that we are here in Vegas and I'm getting that break that I so desperately wanted? I miss our babies!!! I miss them so much that my heart feels like it's going to explode. They are in the best hands, our parents are doting on them and loving on them and Abby, especially, is probably in heaven with all of the extra attention. I know that this break is so, so good for both Dave and myself, and I'm trying to just enjoy the time away because I know that I won't get another opportunity like this one for a very long time!! I just really didn't expect to miss them this much. And yet, I read an entire book in a day and a half, and I've spent hours and hours at the pool soaking up the sunshine and having cocktails in the middle of the day. I took a bath AND a shower today, plus I got to blow dry my hair and leisurely put on my makeup. This time that I have all to myself, it feels so foreign now and almost selfish, in a way. I love being a mom more than anything in the world, but this break is refreshing. I feel like me again, and yet I feel lonely too, without my littles constantly by my side. A few more days and we will be home again, where two pieces of my heart beat outside of my chest. For now, though, viva Las Vegas! Time for a cocktail :)

Monday, November 17, 2014

Andrew's Birth Story

It's crazy to think that Andrew will already be 4 weeks old this week!! Time really is just flying by. I went in for my scheduled c-section at 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant. It was such a surreal feeling going into the hospital and knowing that we would have a baby in a few hours! We had taken Abby to my mom and dad's house the night before, and then Dave and I went and had one last dinner out together at DeLuca's. We went home and tried to get a good night's sleep, and then we were up bright and early to shower and be on our way. Checking into the hospital didn't take too long, and by around 6:30am I was in a gown in a recovery room getting my IV in. At that point I started to panic a little - more about the surgery than anything! I felt hot and nauseous, but once the IV was in I was able to calm down a bit. Our doctor was running a little late, so finally at 8:30am we went over to surgery. Dave waited outside while I walked into the room and got up on the operating table. I had been most nervous about the spinal block, but everything went very smoothly! I did end up getting sick a few times, most likely as a reaction to the pain medicine that was administered in my spinal block. Dave finally joined me and by that time I was feeling much better. I do remember that one of the nurses had a very strongly scented lotion on! I actually had to ask her to step back for a few minutes because it was making me feel so ill! Once I was completely numb from about the shoulders down, Dr. Tucker came in and started the surgery. It seemed like no time at all before they were pulling Andrew out! He came out crying and sucking his thumb! 

They brought him right to me and I got to touch him and hold him while he was all covered in goo! Then after getting him cleaned up and weighed the nurses pulled my gown down and I was able to hold him right against my skin while the doctors finished sewing me up. It was so different in every way from my birth experience with Abigail. I was just so AWARE this time around, which was so wonderful. When Abby was born I was so drugged up that I felt completely out of it. After surgery was over we got wheeled into recovery, where I was able to nurse Andrew right away. He latched right on and it just felt so natural. Dave and I spent a couple hours in recovery sending pictures and texts and chatting with our families. We finally moved into our hospital room and had our first visitors (Dave's parents!) not too long after. I felt pretty good because of the spinal block and medicine that had been administered through that, so I wasn't really having much pain, which was nice. My mom and dad brought Abby to visit later that afternoon. She was tentative and a bit shy, but she was excited to meet her baby brother! 

We were able to go home after just two nights in the hospital, which was really great. I had originally thought that I would want to stay a third night, but we were so ready to get home to our bed! Abby stayed an extra night with my parents, and then we all got settled in at home together the day after that. So far, things have been going really well!! Andrew is a very content baby, and as long as he is able to nurse every 2-3 hours he rarely cries. The sleep deprivation is definitely not fun, and Abby has had a few tough moments adjusting, but that's all to be expected. Dave stayed home with us for a week and a half before heading back to work, and having him home was wonderful. I've been trying to find my "new normal" now that I have two kids to care for alone during the day, and so far we've been doing all right for the most part! We are pretty confident that Andrew will be our last child, so I'm trying to savor all of the sweet baby moments and when things feel extra hard I remind myself that he will only be this little once. Before long we will have two toddlers running around! But for now, we have this sweetness to snuggle with...

Monday, September 1, 2014

Lake City 2014

Over Labor Day weekend we went up to Lake City with our friends for our annual end-of-summer vacation. Last year Abby was just sitting up on her own, so this year was quite a change! She had a great time playing with Elliott and Hannah, although she took quite a while to warm up to the sandy beach! There were 8 adults and 3 kids in a small two bedroom (plus sunroom!) cabin. Thankfully we made it work! Dave and I luckily got one of the bedrooms, and Abby's pack 'n play fit perfectly in the closet. I brought a curtain rod and a curtain from home and we were able to make her a little makeshift "bedroom". She slept pretty great for the most part! The forecast wasn't looking too great before we left, but the weather ended up turning out pretty nice, which was a great surprise! We headed up to the cottage Friday morning, and we spent the rest of
Friday just hanging out and letting the kids play outside. Saturday morning the sun came out so we all headed down to the beach. The cottage that we rent on Lake Missaukee has the most amazing sandy-bottom beach with clear, shallow water. Abby really didn't like putting her feet in the sand, but she eventually warmed up enough to sit in the water and play with her toys! Dave, Abby, and I went into town later that evening for an ice cream treat. Abby is used to being on the go a lot at home and she wasn't a huge fan of staying at the cottage all day. By Saturday evening she kept asking over and over again to go bye-bye, so we obliged! We ended up getting caught in a quick downpour and came back to the house soaked! Sunday the skies were a bit more cloudy, so we had a pretty low key day and put the kiddos down for early naps. After nap time we enjoyed more time at the beach before taking the pontoon out to this awesome sandbar in the late afternoon. Once again, Abby was NOT a fan of the sand, but she had fun hanging out on the boat having snacks and dancing. We all decided that next year we will definitely spend more time out at the sand bar because it was so beautiful and the perfect place to hang out for the day. At almost 32 weeks pregnant, the weekend definitely exhausted me! I'm so glad that we went though. We are already trying to figure out how we can swing things next year, since our crew will no doubt be growing by at least one and possibly more than that. We may need to find a bigger cottage! At least next year I'll be able to enjoy some adult beverages again :)

Thursday, August 7, 2014

28 Weeks - Andrew

I've been such a bad blogger lately!! I have been meaning to post for ages but just never seem to sit down and do it. So, here we go...

Pregnancy is going fine. I'm a little over 28 weeks, so if I deliver at 39 weeks 1 day like I'm hoping for, baby Andrew will be here in exactly 11 weeks. It still feels really, really far away! And yet when I think about having two kids I am so insanely terrified. This pregnancy continues to be very different than my first. I've gained 14 pounds so far (yuck) and feel absolutely enormous. Nothing fits right, not even some of the maternity clothes I bought specifically for this pregnancy. I'm hoping the weight gain stops soon!! Laying off the ice cream would probably help...
I was recently having a lot of horrible lower back pain. Basically, every step I took with my right foot sent shooting pains down my butt and leg. Most likely, it was because Andrew was breech and irritating my sciatic nerve. I started seeing a chiropractor last week and it has helped immensely!! I am feeling so much better, and wouldn't you know, after just three visits Andrew is no longer breech! I actually am pretty sure that he flipped after the second visit, but an ultrasound this week confirmed my suspicions for sure. It has made things much more comfortable for me. My blood pressure was perfect at my last appointment and I passed my one hour glucose test, plus he is measuring right on target. All great news! Here he is around 24 weeks:

I'm feeling better mentally than I was the last time I wrote. It's been nice to enjoy the summer weather and get out and about a lot with Abby. She is doing great these days and it's so much fun to see her learn every day. She is currently teething and we are really hoping to at least see some molar points poke through soon. Some people claim that teething doesn't affect their kids - I wish!!! Abby is a monster for weeks before she cuts teeth. Combine that with newfound independence and assertiveness and some days are pretty rough for us both. But, we power through and I remind myself that tomorrow is a new day. Nap time also helps!! I'm still really scared and overwhelmed when I think about what life will be like with two. Abby is just such a mama's girl, and she is still very clingy. I'm trying to encourage her to play more on her own, but most days she just wants to be stuck to my side no matter what I'm doing. I have a feeling that Andrew is going to be doing more than his fair share of waiting in those first few months! I know it will all work out though. I'm so excited to meet him and also to know that our family will be complete. I'm also very ready to be done being pregnant!!
Here are a few summer pics of miss Abigail: 

I haven't taken a belly pic in ages but plan to at 30 weeks so I'll post it once I take it!


Sunday, June 15, 2014

16-20 Weeks - Baby #2

Well, obviously I've been absent from the blog lately!  I've been having major computer problems, plus I just honestly haven't felt much like writing lately.  Here are the pics from week 16 and week 20.  I didn't take any for 17, 18, or 19 :(

What's funny is that I feel absolutely ENORMOUS, but I don't really see much change in the pics.  I guess I've just been big for a while now!  We had our anatomy scan last week and that went really well.  Andrew is doing great and was measuring a few days ahead of schedule.  All of his organs, etc looked good too, so that was quite a relief.  My blood pressure was great and I hadn't gained any weight on their scale.  All great news!  I found out that I have an anterior placenta, which basically means that the placenta attached at the front of my uterus and is blocking me from feeling much movement at all.  I started feeling flutters from Andrew early on (around 11 weeks!), but the past few weeks I barely feel any movement at all.  It makes me really sad because that's the part of pregnancy that I love the most!  The tech told me that he is quite an active baby - she could barely get all of her measurements because he was moving like crazy!  She also said that maybe it's a good thing that I don't feel all of his moving because I would just be kicked like crazy all day :)  Still, I'm really looking forward to feeling bigger movements hopefully in the next few weeks.  If anything, just for the reassurance that all is well!!

I've been struggling the last few weeks.  This pregnancy has been physically easy on me, but more difficult emotionally.  Abby is going through a very whiny, clingy phase and it just drains me.  We've transitioned to one nap, and by naptime I am just completely and utterly spent.  I catch up on house stuff and then usually end up napping myself because I'm so exhausted.  I've also just been feeling really lonely lately...even a bit disconnected from Dave.  It's not a great feeling.  I can't pinpoint why I even feel this way, I just do.  Pregnancy is so isolating.  Everything about this time around just feels so different.  Not that I'm  not happy to be pregnant, because I truly am.  I think it just partially stems from the fact that we tried for so long to get pregnant the first time and I wanted to be pregnant SO badly.  This pregnancy was really quite a surprise to us both...and that same initial excitement just isn't there.  I'm mostly terrified of what life alone all day with two kids will be like, when some days it feels like I'm barely surviving with just one!!  It sounds terrible to say, but it's true.  And yet, I know that I'll survive and we'll be just fine.  Abby really is such a good girl, I'm just struggling these days with her new found attitude and defiance.  Hopefully she'll go back at least a little bit to her sunny self soon.  I know that I need to put myself out there more and really foster my female friendships.  That just feels hard right now, for some reason.  Even playdates with other mom friends are mostly spent chasing our own kids around, plus most of the other stay at home moms I know already have two kids and have their hands very full.  I keep reminding myself (daily, it seems, lately) that this stage of life doesn't last forever.  It's really such a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things.  Abby won't always need me or want me as much, and then I'll miss her baby days.  I know all this.  Tonight I would just love nothing more than to sit out on my back patio with my sister and a bottle of wine and chat and gossip until the sun is long gone.  Or go rollerblading with my friend Jessica and talk about everything and nothing like we used to in the old days.  Of course, none of that will be happening tonight!  I know that I need to take care of myself, physically and mentally.  I keep going back and forth about whether I would benefit from signing up for a prenatal yoga class or something like that.  We'll see.  In the meantime, it's time to stop feeling down and keep my chin up.  I want to enjoy this summer and the last few months I have alone with my baby girl during the day.  

In other news, I'm nearly finished with Andrew's nursery!  As soon as we found out we were having a boy, I got right to work.  I just knew that I wanted to get it done before I got any bigger or more uncomfortable.  So, we consolidated closets and got rid of a lot of stuff.  Then Dave's desk and bookcase went into the guest bedroom, and my desk and sewing stuff went down into the basement.  I repainted the whole room and closet, and caulked and painted all of the trim.  It was quite a job!  After that, we went to Ikea and got all the furniture, plus pulled the changing table and glider from Abby's room.  I found some blackout curtains and sewed some cute window valences and then found a ton of decorations to go with some stuff we already had.  The theme is a sports nursery and I really love how it turned out!!  I just have to make a mobile with some craft supplies I found and finish sewing his quilt and then it will be completely done and ready for baby!  We still need to get a few things, like a sound machine for his room and another camera for the video monitor system, but I'm trying to keep things pretty sparse this time around.  I'm hoping to borrow lots of clothes from friends of ours who have an older boy as well.  The less we have to buy, the better!  Here are a few pictures of the nursery (poor quality pics from my iPhone but they will have to do because editing pics on my computer right now is a total nightmare!):

I think that's all for now.  I'll have to do a very belated 16 month post for Abigail next!

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Elective Ultrasound!

I have my 16 week bump picture on my camera and need to download and edit it still. That post will hopefully come later today! But first, we found out yesterday that baby #2 is a BOY!! For a little while now, I've been wanting to book an elective early gender ultrasound. I just couldn't seem to justify the cost knowing that our anatomy scan is only a few more weeks away. In the end, though, my impatience won out. I haven't felt as connected to this pregnancy as I did with Abby's, so I am hoping that knowing the gender now and being able to really get started on things will help with that connection. 

Saturday, Granny and Grandad came to watch Abigail and Dave and I set off for our appointment. When we had our early ultrasound with Abby, we had to drive to Brighton. Luckily, the same place we went to in Brighton (Baby Envision) opened an office here in Lansing a few months ago! We stopped to get some orange juice for me to drink to make sure that baby wasn't sleeping, and got to the ultrasound place early. When it was our turn, we went back and I got ready for the goo on my belly. The tech we had wasn't very friendly or talkative, which was kind of a bummer. Also, the equipment at this office wasn't nearly as new as the equipment at the Brighton office, which was also not great. But, we still got to see baby and that was very nice. After a while of showing us the face and profile, she moved on to looking for the sex. I could tell after just a few passes of the ultrasound wand that there was definitely a penis there! The tech said, "Well, I know what your baby is," and I told her that I also knew and that it was a boy! She said I was right and showed us on the screen. She wasn't able to get a super clear picture of a "potty shot" without cord interference. After that, we tried looking at baby in 4D for a while. Nothing was very clear, which was disappointing because with Abigail it was very clear, but it was still nice to see our son! Of course I cried :) After the appointment, the woman working at the desk printed out some pictures for us and said that she wasn't very happy with how they turned out. She offered for us to come back next Saturday for free to try to get some better pictures (with a different tech!) and I happily agreed! I'll probably go by myself since we don't want to have to find someone to watch Abby again. Dave seemed fine with that. So, we will be welcoming Andrew David Main into our family in October! Some people seemed surprised that we shared the name on Facebook, but I really love sharing the name early. It's so much better than just calling him "baby boy" for the next 5 months! Hopefully we are able to keep the nicknames at bay for now, because Dave and I both prefer Andrew over any common nicknames. We have our full anatomy scan on June 9th, so it will be great to see him again then too and also get confirmation that he is healthy and everything looks good! We are so, so excited for Abigail to have a little brother!

Thursday, May 8, 2014

15 Weeks - Baby #2

15 weeks and a few days!  I'm not doing well posting these on time, but at least they are getting posted at all!  :)  We are flying to Denver tonight to visit Abigail's newest cousin, baby Audrey (plus Melissa and Matt too!).  I am excited and yet also very nervous to fly with Abby!  Hopefully it will all go smoothly!  I have an OB appointment the day after we get back, so I'm excited to check in on baby and see how things are going.  I'll update once we are home!